Who sang first? The chicken or the egg?

Just a few thoughts that I can’t hold in. Rhianna cannot sing!! Over and over she sings live but that finger in your air and glaring at your sound guy isn’t helping. Stop letting her on stage! But I tell you who was music to my ears…Janelle Monae and Bruno Mars giving me rockabilly, Cee Lo Green and Gwenyth rockin Elton John and Kiki Dee. And Jennifer Hudson as always a class act. Would love to have heard my new favorite singer Esperanza Spalding. So happy for her win. Eminem, you are so talented but do you ever smile? And was Gaga’s  cyst performance overshadowing her blatant theft of her idol Madonna? We’ll see what the small town drag show performer is doing in 30 years. Longevity baby!

Okay, got that out of my system, now let’s talk fashion, hair and makeup!

As Brad Pitt said to Juliette Lewis in Kalifornia, “Miley, put your titty away!”

Loved John Legend in Gucci…take notes Ricki Martin in your moon pants.

Nikki Manaj…okay, The out fit was fun, but that bride of Blackenstein wig you borrowed from SNL ruined it! And out of respect for Nanna, I have no words for Katy Perry. Amber Riley? What are your thoughts?

Gorgeous mentions go out to Ana Nalick, Paz Vega and Jennifer Lopez.

 Best dressed/hair/makeup: Jennifer Hudson, Ciara and Florence Welch. All perfection!!!

Whew, I need an Oscar cleansing….

VMA’s are to the Razzies as Lady Gaga is to Cher

 

Well, that’s it. Not only did I get my AARP application in the mail this month, but last night as I begrudgingly watched the VMA Awards and found myself saying things like, “Back in my day MTV showed videos!” and “Artists aren’t talented anymore.” or since when is a meat bikini fashion?”

 I mean come on… I know damn good and well you went to the plastic flower section of Michael’s, spray painted some gold leaves and hot glued them to your bad wig! Sorry Gaga, your still not the cool kids at the party! I had intended to review the fashions on the red carpet and performances at last night’s awards, but I wrote 2 notes and decided I had nothing to say. It was painful to watch the trainwrecked white carpet. No fashions, no organization and no stars! Funny how they change venues every year in an attempt to class up the show; it’s not working and we’re not buying it! The whole thing made me feel so old! I had only heard of like 3 of the nominees… In a not-so-ironic twist those were the same 3 that took home all the awards.

The only performances worth mentioning were Chelsea Handler’s Hot Tub VD Machine bit, Taylor Swift’s high school cat fight song to Kayne (it really was a good song) and the saving grace of the night, Florence and The Machine. I mean who is Robyn? Yeah, Pink called….she wants her look and that aweful imitation of her performance back…Then poor ole Rhianna should be thanking Eminem for rapping loud enough to drown out her tone-def performance! I’m not even sure how they determine these videos. It should be called the You Tube Awards because I don’t ever see videos on MTV. So where were the big names last night? The big talent?  Guess they’re all waiting for the Grammys. Sorry MTV, you can take your moon-man, your Cribs and your “there-is-an-ointment-for-that” Jersey Shore and stick it!

Hmmm, turns out I did have something to say…